Friday, 21 August 2015

It's all about Self-development - Yes it is All About YOU!

How many times have you heard people say "oh no, I don't do that self development stuff" or during the conversation you pick up that your conversationalists believe it is selfish if you are concentrating on you?  I have heard it soooo many times.  However, it is all about self-development, it is all about YOU!
You see simply put, if you are unable to work on you, you are unable to help others fully and effectively... the last words of that sentence are the most important "fully and effectively".

Plus life genuinely gets so much easier the more you learn about you and why you have done/still do certain things, it means you are fighting yourself less and less and accepting, developing more and more.

I wonder how it came to be that we as human beings at some point thought we knew it all.... when we became so arrogant (for want of a better word) to think we could not possibly find out anything else about ourselves and the world around us so that developing our consciousness, our awareness was no longer important.  That notion to me seems ridiculous and yet it has been happening for years and years and years.

The Ripple...

Having said that, I have noticed a ripple, a ripple that has been getting larger and larger year after year for about the last 15 years.  This ripple has been an awareness in more and more people that to be able to create a better outside world they have needed to look and make changes from within.

And here is the ironic things for those that have thought this self-development, self journey is a selfish one, the more you connect from within the larger the connection and understanding you have to the outside world.  Energy for one.  As many avid readers of this blog know I am all for trying to help educate and bring more awareness to the topic of energy.  The more you connect from within the more you understand and develop the senses to be more aware of the subtly nuances of energy, which means you also feel the connections of that energy all around you, in people, animals, nature, objets, well pretty much everything.

The more connected you are to the subtle energies the more you want to protect the environment and everything that is living in because the more you are aware that we are all connected and everything we do has an effect somewhere along the line.  So, it really is all about YOU first.

I have conducted many EFT sessions, readings and had many discussions with friends and the like with regards to relationships. Even with relationships working on yourself can be the greatest gift.  For those struggling with but I want my partner to be... or just do.... you come to the realisation of acceptance rather than change.  With this acceptance also comes the realisation that actually you can never change anyone, you can influence but the action of change has to come from that person because they want to. And again with this gained knowledge all those tensions are released and you discover what it is that you want and how you want your life to be.  It is empowering.

Self-development also helps you to really connect with what it is you really love doing and so helping you to discover the perfect career path to you so that work is no longer the bind or the grind, it is enjoyable, fulfilling and rewarding.

So when is enough, enough?

Well, me personally I think I will always be a student of life... there is so much to learn, so much to discover.  However, there is a big difference in learning and attending.  Ah, the perpetual attendees..... I have met many, maybe you have too or know of one or two.  These are the people that attend course after course, seminar after seminar and yet stay the same.  My dear friends stop... mainly because it is costing you too much and you are attending for the wrong reasons, yes, you may get your energy fix and feel awesome when you are there only to return home to feel... well the way you did before which is why you go to another and another.

Really for you to gain anything a clue is in self-development, it requires YOU to do something, attending is not enough.  You need to take action on the information given.  This is why it is most helpful for the majority to work on one area at a time and fully immerse and complete that before moving on.

This is also why for many courses the information is no longer fully accessible, it is provided lesson by lesson, week after week.  This is to help you to manage the information and have time to act on it before moving on, otherwise too many skip ahead so the information is non effective as it has not really been taken in.  A bit like speed reading it becomes more about finishing the content than the journey the information can teach you.

Have you been on a self-development journey or thinking of where to start? Then do leave a comment as I would live to hear from you.  Also please do pop over to my facebook page.

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x
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Saturday, 15 August 2015

Why the internet can be your best friend or your worst Nightmare....

I love the internet, access to all that information with just the typing of a sentence or two... However, even more so recently, I have really been thinking about Why the internet can be your best friend or your worst nightmare...



Simply put, well meaning "experts" by this of course, I do not mean actual experts just those that reply to articles, questions etc... with well meaning intentions and sounding as if they know the best thing for you but actually they don't.  And peoples willingness to accept this information.  It is a dangerous game and one that can lead to fatality.

So, why does this happen? Well, human nature will always seek people to agree with them, to their thought processes and in many cases with the easiest options.  At best some of these can just equal time wasting, however, in the worst circumstances these can be fatal.  To give an example, someone wrote a health article, it was on a detox juice.... Harmless enough.  But then someone commented mentioning they were addicted to drugs, had been for many years and wanted some advice. The responsible Health Article Owner, suggested they see their Doctor and seek help through rehab or other options, whilst another well meaning person replied with a way to self-detox....

At this point I am hoping I am not the only one that went into a cold sweat reading this... Firstly they have no idea what drugs, what quantity, the length of time taken etc... etc...

I have seen this type of thing time and time again from pregnancy and birth advice right the way through to treating major health issues.

I ask you, would you stand in the street with a megaphone and say excuse me everyone I am a drug addict and would like to know if you can advise me on what to do?  Or I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and am getting really deep stabbing pains in my back, what do you advise?  My guess would be no, and with good reason too because most of us are just not qualified to give an answer.


The internet can also be an amazing resource for alternative therapies, medicines, cures etc... but with these, the majority of us would research and as many sufferers of medical conditions will tell you the research takes a lot of time, effort and thorough examination.  However, the information we have access to now is astounding and I for one am all for it.  I love being able to research, look up, discover, understand at the touch of a button, it is incredible, amazing, powerful and often times empowering.

Precaution is needed...

But I do think that precaution is needed.  The unfortunate part to this article is those that are most desperate and vulnerable are usually the least likely to do their research and more likely to take others advice at face value.

I have had 4 children but I am not a midwife and whilst I may have experienced many different symptoms and had various experiences carrying and giving birth to each child how can I advise as to what someone should do if they are experiencing.... x, y or z.  After all, I do not know their medical history or that of their child, the only advice any of us should give is to seek a medical professional.

Now, I am not talking about taking this to the extreme if someone was to ask if you would recommend the Safari Jumperoo and you had one for your child then of course release your opinion, as with music, cars, clothes, well a plethora of subjects, but when it comes to health you are on dodgy ground if you are not a qualified professional in that field.
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Thursday, 13 August 2015

Can you do for yourself what you do for others?

I am my children's' and my partners biggest cheer leader, biggest supporter and all round motivator.

I can give an example of true hardship and utter determination to make things better for daughter no 1.

I think my eldest daughter (then my only daughter!) must have been about 2 yrs old when we were both in homeless accommodation.  I remember walking into the room with its green plastic covered mattresses, one wardrobe and one bedside table and thinking that I had hit the lowest of the low.  I found used needles in the wardrobe and that just confirmed that sinking feeling I had.

Here I had the most beautiful, funny, smiley little girl that deserved the world and yet this is where we were...

It is a long story as to how we had arrived at that point but the crux of it involved moving away... far away from a physically and mentally abusive soon to be ex-husband.  BUT... just for a moment I would like to step back in time a little because it is very relevant to the blog title.. Can you do for yourself what you do for others?

My husband at the time, was manipulative, abusive but not in the typical way you would expect.  No, this had happened over time, until you suddenly had no part of yourself left, no confidence, no sense of self.  Constantly thinking you had done something wrong and apologetic at the drop of a hat....

The type of person that meant you would get to the front door, put in the key and sigh before you walked through the door wondering which husband you would be met with.... The one in a good mood and so meaning a good night would ensue or the one that was in a bad mood which would result in.... well the levels would vary from bad to pretty darn awful.

The day I came out of hospital and we as proud parents walked into town with our baby in her pram ready to show her to the world and my husband turned around to me... completely out of the blue and said "how do I know she is mine?".... "it's obvious she is yours she came out of you, how do I know she is mine?"  I was speechless, utterly lost for words... mainly because we had hardly ever spent any time apart as I was not allowed to see my friends etc... anymore and if we ever went anywhere we did so together.

Anyway that is just an example.... So, onto my point.  When my daughter was about 5 mths old it was another argument, another situation, but she woke up, we both rushed to her but for very different reasons... My husband got there first... he was shouting the whole time time and by this time she was getting hysterical, I found myself pleading, just pass her to me, I will calm her down, put her back to sleep we can go back downstairs and you can say whatever you need to say to me... I was panicked, in that I need to stay calm kind of way.... even when I think about it today my heart feels as though it will pound out of my chest...

He moved her away from me quickly banging her head on the door while doing so, still shouting, no remorse, nothing.... To this day after that moment I still cannot remember how long it took to get her in my arms or even how I convinced him but I did.  I got her back to sleep went downstairs and it continued... but this time it was like I was not even there.  I felt as though I was floating above my body, looking down and I just thought if I was a fly on the wall and this was happening to a friend what would I say.... I would say get the hell out.... And that is exactly what I did.  BUT it took me to think of it as if it was a friend before I acted, as if it just being about me was not good enough, as if I was not good enough to deserve better.

Back to the homeless accommodation.... This was a big turning point - I went to my step parents for Christmas and my then ex-husband was seeing my daughter over the christmas period but on the phone to me the entire time saying he was going to take her off of me as I could not even provide secure accommodation for her.  Now if this happened now in this time I would equally be strong enough to say and even think hang on a second, if you had any love or concern for your daughter you would financially contribute to supporting her, (which never happened as he saw that as helping "me out") and so we would not be in this situation.

But, it did make me think right... I need to do something drastic otherwise my gorgeous little girl is going to be living with someone who thinks she is a pawn, who does not love her and well, I just could not have that!

I found a new venue in Taunton, I walked in and asked to speak to the manager.  The man behind the bar said he was the manager.  I looked him straight in the eye and said - you need to employ me over the Christmas and New year period.  He chuckled and said "oh do I, and why is that?"  I told him that I would make him more money than anyone else he employed. He told me to come in that evening for a trial... I then worked over Christmas and New year as much as I could. And true to my word I did make him more money, every time I was offered a drink (and that happened a lot!) the money went into the till.  By the end of my time (so New years eve) I was £50 shy of the deposit and fees for a flat!

I would never have dreamt that I could be as bold and as confident as I was that day... But it was no longer about me - it was about my baby, her security and her having a Mum that would do anything to get them out of the situation we were in.

I still look back at that time in awe, of seeing that I had the strength, confidence and determination to overcome my fears, my insecurities etc... in order to get something done... But it still also leaves a burning question in me.... Would I ever go to those depths just for myself?

It's interesting to see, hear and feel the strength we have when we need to help those we love and yet we need to love ourselves just as fiercely, we need to be as determined to help ourselves, improve our lives for us.

So, my question for you is... Can you do for yourself what you do for others?

Can you do for yourself what you do for others?

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x
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Wednesday, 12 August 2015

How to choose a Tarot or Angel Card Reader

I have read Tarot since I was a teenager, Angel cards and Oracle cards came later on in life  and to be honest I felt more connected to them.  However, I have had many discussions with friends and clients/future clients about the validity of readers.

This is a tough one, you have word of mouth, which is great as you normally know and trust the person that has mentioned the recommendation.  But what if you do not have a recommendation? You are then left looking through a plethora of websites (these days so many more readings are done via phone or email rather than face-to-face), reviews and trying to work out if this person or that person is the right one to go with.

This is why I took the Certified Angel card Readers Course by Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine.

It meant that you know I have been tested by some of the best in the industry and so giving you peace of mind.

Certified Angel Card Reader Traci Cornelius

There are a few other tips I have for you when choosing a reader:-

Use your intuition

If you go to a website and it does not "feel" right then move on to the next - this one just is not a match for you, trust what you feel.

Read the reviews

This is so important, what have others fed back?  It is also not about the quantity of reviews, it is about the quality.  Also do not judge reviews by the amount of work you think the reader may have had.  There are many readings I have done and still continue to do for either higher profile clients or those that wish to remain anonymous.

Get in Contact

Still not sure?  Contact the reader or sales team.  If you are looking at larger companies that have a number of readers on their lists you will more than likely have a sales team you can talk too.  If it is a reputable company you should be able to talk to the sales team and give them an overview of what you are looking for.  Based on this they should be able to recommend a few readers that will be a fit for you.  If you are contacting the reader direct then do expect to either email, leave a message and receive a reply within 24/48 hrs there are a plethora of reasons that readers either choose to work for a company as a contractor or use their own website to attract clients.

The upside to using a larger company is that the waiting time is usually minimal, the upside to finding an independent reader is that if you create a bond and really like their style you will often go back to the same reader time and time again.  This can also still happen within a company but once again you may then need to wait until your preferred reader is available.

The first few minutes of your reading

Lastly if you do not feel a connection to your reader within the first few minutes then just say so and end the reading.  If you have a genuine reader they will also say to you I am sorry but I am not feeling the connection.  It happens, we cannot always connect.  This also does not mean you are not "meant" to have a reading it simply means that reader is not a fit for you.  You will then either be credited (usually with larger companies) or refunded your money to leave you free to find another reader.

Tips for getting the most out of your reading

As a little bonus, here are a few tips on how to get the most from your reading:-

Specific Question

Prior to your reading really think about what it is you are seeking.  The reading is always much more successful if you start with a specific question, more often than not you will receive a lot more information but having a starting point really does help the connection between the reader and yourself.  To give an example imagine you at one end of the room and your reader is at the other, now imagine a number of narrow pathways leading from you to the reader, if you have a specific question the reader chooses that path and can walk to you easily, without a question the reader needs to work out which path is the one that leads to you in the best and quickest way.

Yes/No and how much information to give

This is a tricky one but it is much better to reply with Yes/No as to whether the information is resonating with you than to be completely silent throughout the reading for fear of giving anything away.  However, you will also need to ensure you refrain from giving away too much, this really is more to protect you and also help you to know that you have had a valued reading as you did not "feed the reader" as we in the industry call it.  Here is an example, if I was giving a reading and it included mediumship and lets say I was to say I have a gentleman with me here, very tall looks to be in his mid eighties, glasses, he is wearing a brown tweed suit and I am really feeling as though this is your Dad or a father figure..... It is perfectly acceptable to say Yes, or that is my Dad or even no actually that is my Granddad but he was much more like a father to me... but then leave the information there, try not to go on and say I lived with him until I was 16, or yes we lived in Birmingham etc... as then you are not just confirming the information given you are providing information that may have been confirmed later in the reading.

For information regarding a Tarot or Angel card reading let's say I said something like I have King of Fire, which represents leadership, focus, passion and also self-development, I am sensing that this is showing me that you have really been focused lately on what it is you want career wise.  You could say yes, I recently started studying, or yes I have had a career change or No it is not with career.  This helps your reader to know if they are interpreting the cards correctly.

Have fun, relax, enjoy...

Have fun, relax and enjoy your reading, it should be an enjoyable experience for you and the reader.  The more open you can be the more enjoyable the session will be.  It can hinder your experience if you are looking for something too specific, for example if you are waiting for confirmation that your "Uncle Mike" has come through and he says something about cherries... when you are looking for something that specific it can really cloud the rest of the reading as you are so focused on getting that person and that message that you are not validating the information that is coming through.

It's not set in stone...

To finish I just want to explain that a reading whether Tarot, Angel cards, Psychic intuition etc... is there as a snap shot to say if you continue on this path this is where you could be heading.... It is not set in stone. This is your life, your destiny and you always have the choice to change direction.  If you do not like where the reading is taking you then great as you know you need to change something.  If you like where the reading is taking you then great, keep doing what you are doing.

I hope you have found this useful and if you have a reading I hope that it brings you peace and clarity.  If you would like to book a reading with me then visit my Angel and Tarot Card Reading page

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x
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Sunday, 9 August 2015

Lost in in-action....

I have recently been lost in in-action... Well not exactly.  There have been a few life changing decisions needed to be made and this brought everything to a resounding halt.

Some life changing decisions are thrown upon us last minute and have to be made quickly while others can be progressive, such as moving out of your parents, buying your first car, buying your first house etc...  Some decisions effect mainly you whilst others can affect many, but none the less these types of decisions all carry weight.  And by weight I mean a heavy thought process that we all go through.  Some of us talk it through with partners, friends and family, others take more of the loners approach.

Sometimes these changes may not be able to be discussed with others.  There is one thing I know for sure which is also how I had to approach one of my decisions; that getting to know yourself and being connected to your inner guide can be invaluable.

It may require time away from the norm, the hustle and bustle of daily life in order for you to be able to connect, hear and feel but it will be completely worth it.  Why?  Well, simply put when you get advise from others you may agree and feel better about talking it over but you still have to rely on your inner guidance to truly know in every cell of your being that you made the right decision for you.  The last part of that sentence is equally as important.... THE RIGHT DECISION FOR YOU.

You are responsible for your life, your relationship, your home, bringing up your children, etc... etc... and so decisions have to be based on what is best for you and those it impacts.  Sometimes, not always, but sometimes advise from others, as well meaning as it is, projects their beliefs, their values, their morals which may not always match up to your own.

Knowing yourself, connecting to your inner guide means you can move forward with conviction.  If you are struggling for an answer, ask your Angels/Guides/God/Divine whatever term you use for help in finding clarity.

And if like me you have to go "missing in in-action" which basically means stepping out of the norm in order to achieve that then do it.  Our house is always busy and rarely quiet.... After all I have four children three of which are toddlers (well two toddlers and one still classed as a baby)... Getting time to reflect is not always an easy task, so for me I have to pick moments... like when they are all asleep and the house chores have been completed (or nearly completed... in our house it is perpetual!).  This means coming to a final decision can take days, even weeks.  It may have to be the same for you, taking a long quiet walk may give you the opportunity to reflect, connect and hear, feel what your inner guidance is telling you.
Before I reconnected issues like the ones I have recently needed to face would have led me through a seemingly never ending spiral of indecision, of wondering which direction, path or decision to make, constantly doubting if I had it in me to make the right choice and all because I have made decisions in the past that have not worked out so well....

But so what? I am here, I am alive, nothing catastrophic happened and who is to say that the seemingly wrong decision was not indeed the right decision to teach me the lesson that needed to be learnt to put me on the right path?  Bit too deep?  Well, maybe but none-the-less true.

It seems in today's society we have to strive for perfection in every decision on every step. In my opinion perfection is non existent because it is always changing, however, let's say for the sake of making a point that we strive for perfection.  We can only achieve perfection through imperfection.  Making mistakes, learning, tweaking, evolving is all what leads us to understanding what it is we truly want, desire, it is also the way to find out what life is truly like, what life is truly about.....

If you are currently in the midst of making some life changing decisions I wish you peace and clarity and urge you to take time to connect to your inner guide.

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x
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