Urghhhhh Scheduling.... The Work at home, stay at Home parent dilemma

I have a wonderful family.  It consists of myself, Mark, four girls aged 17, 3, 2 and 10 mths, a puppy aged 4.5 mths, a rabbit, two mice and some fish.

So, this means our house is well pretty busy.  Mark works full time but also has practically what I would also call full time hobbies, meaning he is often away weekends, evenings and even when home often packing for said weekends.

My 17 yr old has just brought her first car and so is rightly off with friends discovering the world, herself and also more than likely learning why I have said for many years do not do x, y and z!

With all this in mind you would think I would have the schedule down, I would be super organised and everyday would be a breeze... except... I don't.  I HATE schedules, I mean really hate them, I avoid them like the plague.  I have moments when I slip and say oooh that is it I am going to do..... and then that lasts about 3 days and then bam I am back to well just a non scheduled environment.

Why? Oh my, this is one question I have been asking myself for years, I think I have finally got some semblance of an answer.  A schedule almost always feels as though it is a dictation, a dictation of my time and what I SHOULD do, a reminder of what I HAVE to do and wow that feeling just grates me to the bone.  It has a huge sense of a lack of freedom and yet....  Having a schedule actually gives you more freedom.

So basically this is one area I have to psychologically work on myself and work on it I am and will continue too (it is going to be a work in progress!).

There is another reason why I dislike scheduling and that is the initial process of the schedule.  I watched a really good video from my new favourite resource and person (in a very non storkerish type of way!) Niamh Arthur, I like her just because she explains things in a very appealing easy to understand, straight forward way and well she is just nice!

In this video Niamh suggests breaking down tasks into daily tasks and weekly tasks etc... which is a very good idea, I took this one step further to also think about monthly tasks but just to stay on track I will do daily and weekly.  Firstly I have to explain that I still have a need to colour co-ordinate even when writing out in rough... I know, I can't help it I like to be able to see things and make them look pretty - it's the crafter in me ;-)

Here was my rough list:-

Already I am looking at it and feeling overwhelmed!  If I have to think about all the things I do in a day, in a week it just seems exhausting and the list still does not include bath time, the girls bed time or even me getting showered and dressed which is also why I can still be in my pj's at sometimes 10 am waiting for a time when I can safely have 10 minutes to get in the shower and get dressed.  But this is the same reason I NEED a schedule because without it the girls do not have enough structure, ok I do not have enough structure.

We have some, of course we do, it is impossible not too but because my 3 and 2 yr old only have nursery one day a week there is no particular set routine.  The end result is everything gets done.... eventually usually when I have seriously had enough and then have a mass clear out and spring clean only to then turn around 10 minutes later to find that my beautifully clean, tidy house looks as though I had never cleaned or tidied at all!  Like the kitchen floor which I clean once, sometimes twice a day... I need to we have a dog.  It is clean and beautiful one second, Roo comes in from the garden and urghhh yep back to looking as though I had never cleaned it in the first place.

This is where I also think we have the constant heart sinking feeling as parents, we spend time cleaning and tidying but it is constant, not just constant in the of course the house needs to be cleaned and tidied on a regular basis but constant in that every 10 minutes kind of way!  I think I need to put the play pen up, put the children in, clean the house and then immediately leave to go out.  This would mean that just for once I can walk back into the house and ahhhhh it's all done.  I just need that feeling for a second or two.

This video sums up my house perfectly, except with three "little helpers!"



My Summary for this topic is I have to swallow my "urghhhh, I really do not want to do this" and create a schedule that can work for us that has enough flexibility in it that I am not feeling like a Drill Sergent!

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Ask and you will be answered... even via facebook! Introducing Niamh Arthur

I just love it when you ask and you are answered and quickly!  I asked the other night for guidance and resources to information or people that could help me to move onto the next level, to push forward on my journey.

Well it was only given to me the very next morning!  Sometimes information, resources, connections can come out of places that you would never consider.  Sometimes it maybe from resources that you see everyday but... this times somethings just pops out for you and this was such a time.

On facebook I am a follower of Women Inspiring Women, it is a fabulous resource and one that I do not visit as often as I should.  Anyhow, on my feed popped up a message saying that Niamh Arthur had posted to the page, I cannot explain why but I was drawn to it immediately and after reading her post I sent her a message and she provided a link to her AWE inspiring video... I was instantly drawn to her and felt as though she was trying to deliver a similar message to me however she is doing it from a business angle where as mine is from a spiritual angle but the crux of it is still all about listening to your inner guide, your gut... she also has a much more eloquent way of putting it than I do!

But I urge you to go and check her out because.... well because.... she rocks and she makes sense...

Her website is aptly named Your Authentic Living and you can get access to her free videos and fab information.

She also has a youtube channel and her introductory video which I have added here too really does give a great introduction regarding what she is all about.



I would love to know if you connect with Niamh and hope that you find her information as informative and helpful as I do.

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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Spiritual Journey Continues....

So, I know it has been a little while since I gave an update on my Spiritual Journey.  I have been continuing with the open circle and developing my mediumship skills.

And mediumship is not just limited to open circle... No, I often get visits from those that have passed for those who are open to messages when I give my Angel & Tarot card readings.  It has been a real pleasure and honour to help clients get the evidence they need to know that there loved ones are still around them and not only that but have been watching over them, I often get evidence of what people have recently been doing and this is their way of showing you that they have been around.  It is truly beautiful.

My spiritual meditations have also been informative and every time I am getting a clearer and clearer message as to my destined path.  I have been given gifts by my guides and leaders and shown symbols amongst other messages.  Now my path is taking me to a stage of developing much further and I have to say I am excited as to where that will lead.

Sometimes it can be hard to tell when you are getting Divine messages, they could be so easily missed, I know I must have missed one after a particularly stern word from my Indian Chief after he said I have a lot to do and need to develop... on the what I should develop and how is the message I had obviously missed!  However, I received some great advice from Kevin who said "ask them to show you three times".  This fab piece of advice means that a) you do not need to worry about something being "your imagination" and b) missing the information.  And it is something I have adopted.

What are your ways of confirming messages?  Do you ask for something similar, I would love to know so do leave a comment.

For those of you who are daily readers of this blog you will also know that this week is gratitude week and I am truly grateful for the path that has been laid out before me.  I am massively grateful that I booked that reading and that it has helped me be in touch with my Spirits, Guides and Guardian Angels.  This last few months have been life changing.  The sort of life changing where you know you will never look at the world in quite the same way again.  I already knew and saw it as beautiful and wondrous and now I have that on a whole new level, levels of levels!

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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Rewire your Brain

Just five minutes daily is all it takes to rewire your brain and unleash everything great in your life – and it starts with Gratitude! By practicing awareness of the positive things in life, we fight off the brain’s natural tendency to scan for and spot the negatives. As a result, we train our brains to be more positive and thus happier.  This is according to http://getgratitude.co which has been featured on

This is another great resource for you and a continuation on from our Gratitude Week here is more from http://getgratitude.co/

WRITE 5 GOOD THINGS

When you write about a happy event, your brain relives that good feeling. And when you focus repeatedly on something that feels good, your brain rewires itself to do that more effortlessly in the future.

WRITE DAILY FOR 3 WEEKS

It takes about three weeks to start a new habit. When a behaviour is repeated enough, the synaptic pathways in our brains tied to that behaviour get used to being accessed. As a result, it becomes easier for impulses to travel along those pathways, and the behaviour seems “natural.”  Recording your gratitude for 21 days straight forms a new habit.

PROVEN BENEFITS OF GRATITUDE

INCREASED HAPPINESS

A daily gratitude journal can increase your long-term well-being by more than 10 percent.That’s the same impact as doubling your income!

IMPROVE RELATIONSHIPS

Gratitude makes us nicer, more trusting, more social, and more appreciative. As a result, it helps us make more friends, deepen our existing relationships, and improve our marriage.

IMPROVES OUR HEALTH

Daily gratitude improves sleep, increases your energy levels, reduces stress, and can decrease blood pressure. There is even reason to believe gratitude can extend your lifespan by a few months or even years.

BOOST YOUR CAREER

Gratitude helps you network, increases your decision making capabilities, increases your productivity, and helps you get mentors and proteges.

STRENGTHENS EMOTIONS

Gratitude reduces envious feelings, creates happier memories, and helps us bounce back from stress.

MAKES US HOT!

Gratitude “recruits” other positive emotions and forgiveness comes easier. Also,  negative emotions—like anger, jealousy, greed, and fear—fade. All this shows in your appearance.

To check out more information about the Gratitude app visit http://getgratitude.co

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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A Serving of Gratitude may Save the Day

Now whilst this article may bring about Thanksgiving and yes we are in July the content is none the less important for our Gratitude week and has dome very poignant points and information.  This was an article in the New York Times:-

The most psychologically correct holiday of the year is upon us.

Thanksgiving may be the holiday from hell for nutritionists, and it produces plenty of war stories for psychiatrists dealing with drunken family meltdowns. But it has recently become the favourite feast of psychologists studying the consequences of giving thanks. Cultivating an “attitude of gratitude” has been linked to better health, sounder sleep, less anxiety and depression, higher long-term satisfaction with life and kinder behaviour toward others, including romantic partners. A new study shows that feeling grateful makes people less likely to turn aggressive when provoked, which helps explain why so many brothers-in-law survive Thanksgiving without serious injury.

But what if you’re not the grateful sort? I sought guidance from the psychologists who have made gratitude a hot research topic. Here’s their advice for getting into the holiday spirit — or at least getting through dinner Thursday:

Start with “gratitude lite.”

That’s the term used by Robert A. Emmons, of the University of California, Davis, for the technique used in hispioneering experiments he conducted along with Michael E. McCullough of the University of Miami. They instructed people to keep a journal listing five things for which they felt grateful, like a friend’s generosity, something they’d learned, a sunset they’d enjoyed.

The gratitude journal was brief — just one sentence for each of the five things — and done only once a week, but after two months there were significant effects. Compared with a control group, the people keeping the gratitude journal were more optimistic and felt happier. They reported fewer physical problems and spent more time working out. 

Further benefits were observed in a study of polio survivors and other people with neuromuscular problems. The ones who kept a gratitude journal reported feeling happier and more optimistic than those in a control group, and these reports were corroborated by observations from their spouses. These grateful people also fell asleep more quickly at night, slept longer and woke up feeling more refreshed.

“If you want to sleep more soundly, count blessings, not sheep,” Dr. Emmons advises in “Thanks!” his book on gratitude research.

Don’t confuse gratitude with indebtedness. Sure, you may feel obliged to return a favour, but that’s not gratitude, at least not the way psychologists define it. Indebtedness is more of a negative feeling and doesn’t yield the same benefits as gratitude, which inclines you to be nice to anyone, not just a benefactor.

In an experiment at Northeastern University, Monica Bartlett and David DeSteno sabotaged each participant’s computer and arranged for another student to fix it. Afterward, the students who had been helped were likelier to volunteer to help someone else — a complete stranger — with an unrelated task. Gratitude promoted good karma. And if it works with strangers ....

Try it on your family. No matter how dysfunctional your family, gratitude can still work, says Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside.

“Do one small and unobtrusive thoughtful or generous thing for each member of your family on Thanksgiving,” she advises. “Say thank you for every thoughtful or kind gesture. Express your admiration for someone’s skills or talents — wielding that kitchen knife so masterfully, for example. And truly listen, even when your grandfather is boring you again with the same World War II story.”

Don’t counterattack. If you’re bracing for insults on Thursday, consider a recent experiment at the University of Kentucky. After turning in a piece of writing, some students received praise for it while others got a scathing evaluation: “This is one of the worst essays I’ve ever read!”

Then each student played a computer game against the person who’d done the evaluation. The winner of the game could administer a blast of white noise to the loser. Not surprisingly, the insulted essayists retaliated against their critics by subjecting them to especially loud blasts — much louder than the noise administered by the students who’d got positive evaluations.

But there was an exception to this trend among a subgroup of the students: 

the ones who had been instructed to write essays about things for which they were grateful. After that exercise in counting their blessings, they weren’t bothered by the nasty criticism — or at least they didn’t feel compelled to amp up the noise against their critics.

“Gratitude is more than just feeling good,” says Nathan DeWall, who led the study at Kentucky. “It helps people become less aggressive by enhancing their empathy. “It’s an equal-opportunity emotion. Anyone can experience it and benefit from it, even the most crotchety uncle at the Thanksgiving dinner table.”

Try a gratitude visit. This exercise, recommended by Martin Seligman of the University of Pennsylvania, begins with writing a 300-word letter to someone who changed your life for the better. Be specific about what the person did and how it affected you. Deliver it in person, preferably without telling the person in advance what the visit is about. When you get there, read the whole thing slowly to your benefactor. “You will be happier and less depressed one month from now,” Dr. Seligman guarantees in his book “Flourish.”

Contemplate a higher power. Religious individuals don’t necessarily act with more gratitude in a specific situation, but thinking about religion can cause people to feel and act more gratefully, as demonstrated in experiments by Jo-Ann Tsang and colleagues at Baylor University. Other research shows that praying can increase gratitude.

Go for deep gratitude. Once you’ve learned to count your blessings, Dr. Emmons says, you can think bigger.

“As a culture, we have lost a deep sense of gratefulness about the freedoms we enjoy, a lack of gratitude toward those who lost their lives in the fight for freedom, a lack of gratitude for all the material advantages we have,” he says. “The focus of Thanksgiving should be a reflection of how our lives have been made so much more comfortable by the sacrifices of those who have come before us.”

And if that seems too daunting, you can least tell yourself —

Hey, it could always be worse. When your relatives force you to look at photos on their phones, be thankful they no longer have access to a slide projector. When your aunt expounds on politics, rejoice inwardly that she does not hold elected office. Instead of focusing on the dry, tasteless turkey on your plate, be grateful the six-hour roasting process killed any toxic bacteria.

Is that too much of a stretch? When all else fails, remember the Monty Python mantra of the Black Plague victim: “I’m not dead.” It’s all a matter of perspective.

A version of this article appears in print on November 22, 2011, on page D1 of the New York edition with the headline: A Serving of Gratitude May Save the Day

Original Source can be seen here

Tomorrow's post brings you an app where you can have your own Gratitude Journal 

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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Gratitude Challenge Starts Today

Whoop Whoop the Gratitude Challenge starts today!  For one Week please join us in saying Thank you throughout the day for various things.  It has been proven that gratitude helps you to be a happier person and also increases your manifestations and of course as the Law of Attraction dictates whatever you are giving out you get back so the more you are grateful the more you have to be grateful for and this week is your chance to see that in action.

Over on my facebook page you will see the daily affirmations throughout the week.

Here are a few to get us going for today.

Thank you Bed for a restful, rejuvenating nights sleep.

 I am thankful for the relationships in my life.  For the Love, the understanding and kindness I receive everyday.

 Thank you for the food that is always readily available nourishing my body and mind and keeping my healthy.

Thank you for always helping me to see positivity all around me and making others feel positive when they are around me.

Please do pop over to my facebook page throughout the week to see more gratitude affirmations and to share how the experience is for you.

Love Life and Laughter 

Traci x

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Your Reach is Further Than You Think.... Share your Story, Share Your Thoughts... You Just Don't Know Who You Are Inspiring!

Your Reach is Further Than You Think.... Share your Story, Share Your Thoughts... You Just Don't Know Who You Are Inspiring!

I write this blog, well, you know that because you are reading it.... but I do not know you are reading it!  I post on my facebook page and other social medias and sometimes I may get a comment or a like, however, it was only recently that I got to really understand how many people that are in their pyjamas reading this over breakfast or contrastingly just before bed, during their lunch break at work etc... are reading these posts.

For me I write down what pops into my head, what I feel inspired to write about without really knowing if it is going to be of interest to anyone... When I started this blog I remember that trepidation I felt.  That fear if you like of "what will people think", "what if they all think I am weird", "what if they reach for the telephone to call the insanity police" (ok a bit far but you know what I mean!).

But, and this is a big but not even a month in and we are nearly at 2000 visitors!  Yes 2000, isn't that incredible and most of you are and will remain completely unknown to me.  For people read what they want too and then carry on with their daily lives but as I am already finding out from those that do contact me your daily lives are a little brighter than they were before.  You maybe feeling contentment knowing that you are not the only one, that others do See, Hear, Feel spirits.

You may just feel inspired that even when life gets you down, when others treat you in a way that is inappropriate that you are still strong enough to hold your head high knowing it is their issue and not yours.  Knowing that you can truly love yourself because you are worth loving.

You may have been told that you have a gift and can read cards, or give messages from the other side and so now have the courage to connect and fully embrace it.

All I know is how humbled I am having read your emails and private messages, how astounded I am as to the reach and countries you have been contacting me from and how encouraged I am that my posts mean so much to you.

Which leads me onto YOU, yes you.  This is not something the select few can do... You do not need to have this major talent, you do not need to see Spirits, do readings, your story, YOUR STORY is worth telling as there are people out there just like you feeling they are the only ones to feel.... to be going through..... and your words just maybe the encouragement, connection, reassurance they need.

If I hadn't of started this blog I would not have connected with so many and I am seeing the benefit to others with sharing my story so just imagine what you do!

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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