Why the internet can be your best friend or your worst Nightmare....

I love the internet, access to all that information with just the typing of a sentence or two... However, even more so recently, I have really been thinking about Why the internet can be your best friend or your worst nightmare...

Source:- http://partnerspreceptors.com/2014/07/

Why?

Simply put, well meaning "experts" by this of course, I do not mean actual experts just those that reply to articles, questions etc... with well meaning intentions and sounding as if they know the best thing for you but actually they don't.  And peoples willingness to accept this information.  It is a dangerous game and one that can lead to fatality.

So, why does this happen? Well, human nature will always seek people to agree with them, to their thought processes and in many cases with the easiest options.  At best some of these can just equal time wasting, however, in the worst circumstances these can be fatal.  To give an example, someone wrote a health article, it was on a detox juice.... Harmless enough.  But then someone commented mentioning they were addicted to drugs, had been for many years and wanted some advice. The responsible Health Article Owner, suggested they see their Doctor and seek help through rehab or other options, whilst another well meaning person replied with a way to self-detox....

At this point I am hoping I am not the only one that went into a cold sweat reading this... Firstly they have no idea what drugs, what quantity, the length of time taken etc... etc...

I have seen this type of thing time and time again from pregnancy and birth advice right the way through to treating major health issues.

I ask you, would you stand in the street with a megaphone and say excuse me everyone I am a drug addict and would like to know if you can advise me on what to do?  Or I am currently 34 weeks pregnant and am getting really deep stabbing pains in my back, what do you advise?  My guess would be no, and with good reason too because most of us are just not qualified to give an answer.

However,

The internet can also be an amazing resource for alternative therapies, medicines, cures etc... but with these, the majority of us would research and as many sufferers of medical conditions will tell you the research takes a lot of time, effort and thorough examination.  However, the information we have access to now is astounding and I for one am all for it.  I love being able to research, look up, discover, understand at the touch of a button, it is incredible, amazing, powerful and often times empowering.

Precaution is needed...

But I do think that precaution is needed.  The unfortunate part to this article is those that are most desperate and vulnerable are usually the least likely to do their research and more likely to take others advice at face value.

I have had 4 children but I am not a midwife and whilst I may have experienced many different symptoms and had various experiences carrying and giving birth to each child how can I advise as to what someone should do if they are experiencing.... x, y or z.  After all, I do not know their medical history or that of their child, the only advice any of us should give is to seek a medical professional.

Now, I am not talking about taking this to the extreme if someone was to ask if you would recommend the Safari Jumperoo and you had one for your child then of course release your opinion, as with music, cars, clothes, well a plethora of subjects, but when it comes to health you are on dodgy ground if you are not a qualified professional in that field.

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Can you do for yourself what you do for others?

I am my children's' and my partners biggest cheer leader, biggest supporter and all round motivator.

I can give an example of true hardship and utter determination to make things better for daughter no 1.

I think my eldest daughter (then my only daughter!) must have been about 2 yrs old when we were both in homeless accommodation.  I remember walking into the room with its green plastic covered mattresses, one wardrobe and one bedside table and thinking that I had hit the lowest of the low.  I found used needles in the wardrobe and that just confirmed that sinking feeling I had.

Here I had the most beautiful, funny, smiley little girl that deserved the world and yet this is where we were...

It is a long story as to how we had arrived at that point but the crux of it involved moving away... far away from a physically and mentally abusive soon to be ex-husband.  BUT... just for a moment I would like to step back in time a little because it is very relevant to the blog title.. Can you do for yourself what you do for others?

My husband at the time, was manipulative, abusive but not in the typical way you would expect.  No, this had happened over time, until you suddenly had no part of yourself left, no confidence, no sense of self.  Constantly thinking you had done something wrong and apologetic at the drop of a hat....

The type of person that meant you would get to the front door, put in the key and sigh before you walked through the door wondering which husband you would be met with.... The one in a good mood and so meaning a good night would ensue or the one that was in a bad mood which would result in.... well the levels would vary from bad to pretty darn awful.

The day I came out of hospital and we as proud parents walked into town with our baby in her pram ready to show her to the world and my husband turned around to me... completely out of the blue and said "how do I know she is mine?".... "it's obvious she is yours she came out of you, how do I know she is mine?"  I was speechless, utterly lost for words... mainly because we had hardly ever spent any time apart as I was not allowed to see my friends etc... anymore and if we ever went anywhere we did so together.

Anyway that is just an example.... So, onto my point.  When my daughter was about 5 mths old it was another argument, another situation, but she woke up, we both rushed to her but for very different reasons... My husband got there first... he was shouting the whole time time and by this time she was getting hysterical, I found myself pleading, just pass her to me, I will calm her down, put her back to sleep we can go back downstairs and you can say whatever you need to say to me... I was panicked, in that I need to stay calm kind of way.... even when I think about it today my heart feels as though it will pound out of my chest...

He moved her away from me quickly banging her head on the door while doing so, still shouting, no remorse, nothing.... To this day after that moment I still cannot remember how long it took to get her in my arms or even how I convinced him but I did.  I got her back to sleep went downstairs and it continued... but this time it was like I was not even there.  I felt as though I was floating above my body, looking down and I just thought if I was a fly on the wall and this was happening to a friend what would I say.... I would say get the hell out.... And that is exactly what I did.  BUT it took me to think of it as if it was a friend before I acted, as if it just being about me was not good enough, as if I was not good enough to deserve better.

Back to the homeless accommodation.... This was a big turning point - I went to my step parents for Christmas and my then ex-husband was seeing my daughter over the christmas period but on the phone to me the entire time saying he was going to take her off of me as I could not even provide secure accommodation for her.  Now if this happened now in this time I would equally be strong enough to say and even think hang on a second, if you had any love or concern for your daughter you would financially contribute to supporting her, (which never happened as he saw that as helping "me out") and so we would not be in this situation.

But, it did make me think right... I need to do something drastic otherwise my gorgeous little girl is going to be living with someone who thinks she is a pawn, who does not love her and well, I just could not have that!

I found a new venue in Taunton, I walked in and asked to speak to the manager.  The man behind the bar said he was the manager.  I looked him straight in the eye and said - you need to employ me over the Christmas and New year period.  He chuckled and said "oh do I, and why is that?"  I told him that I would make him more money than anyone else he employed. He told me to come in that evening for a trial... I then worked over Christmas and New year as much as I could. And true to my word I did make him more money, every time I was offered a drink (and that happened a lot!) the money went into the till.  By the end of my time (so New years eve) I was £50 shy of the deposit and fees for a flat!

I would never have dreamt that I could be as bold and as confident as I was that day... But it was no longer about me - it was about my baby, her security and her having a Mum that would do anything to get them out of the situation we were in.

I still look back at that time in awe, of seeing that I had the strength, confidence and determination to overcome my fears, my insecurities etc... in order to get something done... But it still also leaves a burning question in me.... Would I ever go to those depths just for myself?

It's interesting to see, hear and feel the strength we have when we need to help those we love and yet we need to love ourselves just as fiercely, we need to be as determined to help ourselves, improve our lives for us.

So, my question for you is... Can you do for yourself what you do for others?

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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How to choose a Tarot or Angel Card Reader

I have read Tarot since I was a teenager, Angel cards and Oracle cards came later on in life  and to be honest I felt more connected to them.  However, I have had many discussions with friends and clients/future clients about the validity of readers.

This is a tough one, you have word of mouth, which is great as you normally know and trust the person that has mentioned the recommendation.  But what if you do not have a recommendation? You are then left looking through a plethora of websites (these days so many more readings are done via phone or email rather than face-to-face), reviews and trying to work out if this person or that person is the right one to go with.

This is why I took the Certified Angel card Readers Course by Doreen Virtue and Radleigh Valentine.

It meant that you know I have been tested by some of the best in the industry and so giving you peace of mind.

There are a few other tips I have for you when choosing a reader:-

Use your intuition

If you go to a website and it does not "feel" right then move on to the next - this one just is not a match for you, trust what you feel.

Read the reviews

This is so important, what have others fed back?  It is also not about the quantity of reviews, it is about the quality.  Also do not judge reviews by the amount of work you think the reader may have had.  There are many readings I have done and still continue to do for either higher profile clients or those that wish to remain anonymous.

Get in Contact

Still not sure?  Contact the reader or sales team.  If you are looking at larger companies that have a number of readers on their lists you will more than likely have a sales team you can talk too.  If it is a reputable company you should be able to talk to the sales team and give them an overview of what you are looking for.  Based on this they should be able to recommend a few readers that will be a fit for you.  If you are contacting the reader direct then do expect to either email, leave a message and receive a reply within 24/48 hrs there are a plethora of reasons that readers either choose to work for a company as a contractor or use their own website to attract clients.

The upside to using a larger company is that the waiting time is usually minimal, the upside to finding an independent reader is that if you create a bond and really like their style you will often go back to the same reader time and time again.  This can also still happen within a company but once again you may then need to wait until your preferred reader is available.

The first few minutes of your reading

Lastly if you do not feel a connection to your reader within the first few minutes then just say so and end the reading.  If you have a genuine reader they will also say to you I am sorry but I am not feeling the connection.  It happens, we cannot always connect.  This also does not mean you are not "meant" to have a reading it simply means that reader is not a fit for you.  You will then either be credited (usually with larger companies) or refunded your money to leave you free to find another reader.

Tips for getting the most out of your reading

As a little bonus, here are a few tips on how to get the most from your reading:-

Specific Question

Prior to your reading really think about what it is you are seeking.  The reading is always much more successful if you start with a specific question, more often than not you will receive a lot more information but having a starting point really does help the connection between the reader and yourself.  To give an example imagine you at one end of the room and your reader is at the other, now imagine a number of narrow pathways leading from you to the reader, if you have a specific question the reader chooses that path and can walk to you easily, without a question the reader needs to work out which path is the one that leads to you in the best and quickest way.

Yes/No and how much information to give

This is a tricky one but it is much better to reply with Yes/No as to whether the information is resonating with you than to be completely silent throughout the reading for fear of giving anything away.  However, you will also need to ensure you refrain from giving away too much, this really is more to protect you and also help you to know that you have had a valued reading as you did not "feed the reader" as we in the industry call it.  Here is an example, if I was giving a reading and it included mediumship and lets say I was to say I have a gentleman with me here, very tall looks to be in his mid eighties, glasses, he is wearing a brown tweed suit and I am really feeling as though this is your Dad or a father figure..... It is perfectly acceptable to say Yes, or that is my Dad or even no actually that is my Granddad but he was much more like a father to me... but then leave the information there, try not to go on and say I lived with him until I was 16, or yes we lived in Birmingham etc... as then you are not just confirming the information given you are providing information that may have been confirmed later in the reading.

For information regarding a Tarot or Angel card reading let's say I said something like I have King of Fire, which represents leadership, focus, passion and also self-development, I am sensing that this is showing me that you have really been focused lately on what it is you want career wise.  You could say yes, I recently started studying, or yes I have had a career change or No it is not with career.  This helps your reader to know if they are interpreting the cards correctly.

Have fun, relax, enjoy...

Have fun, relax and enjoy your reading, it should be an enjoyable experience for you and the reader.  The more open you can be the more enjoyable the session will be.  It can hinder your experience if you are looking for something too specific, for example if you are waiting for confirmation that your "Uncle Mike" has come through and he says something about cherries... when you are looking for something that specific it can really cloud the rest of the reading as you are so focused on getting that person and that message that you are not validating the information that is coming through.

It's not set in stone...

To finish I just want to explain that a reading whether Tarot, Angel cards, Psychic intuition etc... is there as a snap shot to say if you continue on this path this is where you could be heading.... It is not set in stone. This is your life, your destiny and you always have the choice to change direction.  If you do not like where the reading is taking you then great as you know you need to change something.  If you like where the reading is taking you then great, keep doing what you are doing.

I hope you have found this useful and if you have a reading I hope that it brings you peace and clarity.  If you would like to book a reading with me then visit my Angel and Tarot Card Reading page

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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Lost in in-action....

I have recently been lost in in-action... Well not exactly.  There have been a few life changing decisions needed to be made and this brought everything to a resounding halt.

Some life changing decisions are thrown upon us last minute and have to be made quickly while others can be progressive, such as moving out of your parents, buying your first car, buying your first house etc...  Some decisions effect mainly you whilst others can affect many, but none the less these types of decisions all carry weight.  And by weight I mean a heavy thought process that we all go through.  Some of us talk it through with partners, friends and family, others take more of the loners approach.

Sometimes these changes may not be able to be discussed with others.  There is one thing I know for sure which is also how I had to approach one of my decisions; that getting to know yourself and being connected to your inner guide can be invaluable.

It may require time away from the norm, the hustle and bustle of daily life in order for you to be able to connect, hear and feel but it will be completely worth it.  Why?  Well, simply put when you get advise from others you may agree and feel better about talking it over but you still have to rely on your inner guidance to truly know in every cell of your being that you made the right decision for you.  The last part of that sentence is equally as important.... THE RIGHT DECISION FOR YOU.

You are responsible for your life, your relationship, your home, bringing up your children, etc... etc... and so decisions have to be based on what is best for you and those it impacts.  Sometimes, not always, but sometimes advise from others, as well meaning as it is, projects their beliefs, their values, their morals which may not always match up to your own.

Knowing yourself, connecting to your inner guide means you can move forward with conviction.  If you are struggling for an answer, ask your Angels/Guides/God/Divine whatever term you use for help in finding clarity.

And if like me you have to go "missing in in-action" which basically means stepping out of the norm in order to achieve that then do it.  Our house is always busy and rarely quiet.... After all I have four children three of which are toddlers (well two toddlers and one still classed as a baby)... Getting time to reflect is not always an easy task, so for me I have to pick moments... like when they are all asleep and the house chores have been completed (or nearly completed... in our house it is perpetual!).  This means coming to a final decision can take days, even weeks.  It may have to be the same for you, taking a long quiet walk may give you the opportunity to reflect, connect and hear, feel what your inner guidance is telling you.

Before I reconnected issues like the ones I have recently needed to face would have led me through a seemingly never ending spiral of indecision, of wondering which direction, path or decision to make, constantly doubting if I had it in me to make the right choice and all because I have made decisions in the past that have not worked out so well....

But so what? I am here, I am alive, nothing catastrophic happened and who is to say that the seemingly wrong decision was not indeed the right decision to teach me the lesson that needed to be learnt to put me on the right path?  Bit too deep?  Well, maybe but none-the-less true.

It seems in today's society we have to strive for perfection in every decision on every step. In my opinion perfection is non existent because it is always changing, however, let's say for the sake of making a point that we strive for perfection.  We can only achieve perfection through imperfection.  Making mistakes, learning, tweaking, evolving is all what leads us to understanding what it is we truly want, desire, it is also the way to find out what life is truly like, what life is truly about.....

If you are currently in the midst of making some life changing decisions I wish you peace and clarity and urge you to take time to connect to your inner guide.

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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Urghhhhh Scheduling.... The Work at home, stay at Home parent dilemma

I have a wonderful family.  It consists of myself, Mark, four girls aged 17, 3, 2 and 10 mths, a puppy aged 4.5 mths, a rabbit, two mice and some fish.

So, this means our house is well pretty busy.  Mark works full time but also has practically what I would also call full time hobbies, meaning he is often away weekends, evenings and even when home often packing for said weekends.

My 17 yr old has just brought her first car and so is rightly off with friends discovering the world, herself and also more than likely learning why I have said for many years do not do x, y and z!

With all this in mind you would think I would have the schedule down, I would be super organised and everyday would be a breeze... except... I don't.  I HATE schedules, I mean really hate them, I avoid them like the plague.  I have moments when I slip and say oooh that is it I am going to do..... and then that lasts about 3 days and then bam I am back to well just a non scheduled environment.

Why? Oh my, this is one question I have been asking myself for years, I think I have finally got some semblance of an answer.  A schedule almost always feels as though it is a dictation, a dictation of my time and what I SHOULD do, a reminder of what I HAVE to do and wow that feeling just grates me to the bone.  It has a huge sense of a lack of freedom and yet....  Having a schedule actually gives you more freedom.

So basically this is one area I have to psychologically work on myself and work on it I am and will continue too (it is going to be a work in progress!).

There is another reason why I dislike scheduling and that is the initial process of the schedule.  I watched a really good video from my new favourite resource and person (in a very non storkerish type of way!) Niamh Arthur, I like her just because she explains things in a very appealing easy to understand, straight forward way and well she is just nice!

In this video Niamh suggests breaking down tasks into daily tasks and weekly tasks etc... which is a very good idea, I took this one step further to also think about monthly tasks but just to stay on track I will do daily and weekly.  Firstly I have to explain that I still have a need to colour co-ordinate even when writing out in rough... I know, I can't help it I like to be able to see things and make them look pretty - it's the crafter in me ;-)

Here was my rough list:-

Already I am looking at it and feeling overwhelmed!  If I have to think about all the things I do in a day, in a week it just seems exhausting and the list still does not include bath time, the girls bed time or even me getting showered and dressed which is also why I can still be in my pj's at sometimes 10 am waiting for a time when I can safely have 10 minutes to get in the shower and get dressed.  But this is the same reason I NEED a schedule because without it the girls do not have enough structure, ok I do not have enough structure.

We have some, of course we do, it is impossible not too but because my 3 and 2 yr old only have nursery one day a week there is no particular set routine.  The end result is everything gets done.... eventually usually when I have seriously had enough and then have a mass clear out and spring clean only to then turn around 10 minutes later to find that my beautifully clean, tidy house looks as though I had never cleaned or tidied at all!  Like the kitchen floor which I clean once, sometimes twice a day... I need to we have a dog.  It is clean and beautiful one second, Roo comes in from the garden and urghhh yep back to looking as though I had never cleaned it in the first place.

This is where I also think we have the constant heart sinking feeling as parents, we spend time cleaning and tidying but it is constant, not just constant in the of course the house needs to be cleaned and tidied on a regular basis but constant in that every 10 minutes kind of way!  I think I need to put the play pen up, put the children in, clean the house and then immediately leave to go out.  This would mean that just for once I can walk back into the house and ahhhhh it's all done.  I just need that feeling for a second or two.

This video sums up my house perfectly, except with three "little helpers!"



My Summary for this topic is I have to swallow my "urghhhh, I really do not want to do this" and create a schedule that can work for us that has enough flexibility in it that I am not feeling like a Drill Sergent!

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Ask and you will be answered... even via facebook! Introducing Niamh Arthur

I just love it when you ask and you are answered and quickly!  I asked the other night for guidance and resources to information or people that could help me to move onto the next level, to push forward on my journey.

Well it was only given to me the very next morning!  Sometimes information, resources, connections can come out of places that you would never consider.  Sometimes it maybe from resources that you see everyday but... this times somethings just pops out for you and this was such a time.

On facebook I am a follower of Women Inspiring Women, it is a fabulous resource and one that I do not visit as often as I should.  Anyhow, on my feed popped up a message saying that Niamh Arthur had posted to the page, I cannot explain why but I was drawn to it immediately and after reading her post I sent her a message and she provided a link to her AWE inspiring video... I was instantly drawn to her and felt as though she was trying to deliver a similar message to me however she is doing it from a business angle where as mine is from a spiritual angle but the crux of it is still all about listening to your inner guide, your gut... she also has a much more eloquent way of putting it than I do!

But I urge you to go and check her out because.... well because.... she rocks and she makes sense...

Her website is aptly named Your Authentic Living and you can get access to her free videos and fab information.

She also has a youtube channel and her introductory video which I have added here too really does give a great introduction regarding what she is all about.



I would love to know if you connect with Niamh and hope that you find her information as informative and helpful as I do.

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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Spiritual Journey Continues....

So, I know it has been a little while since I gave an update on my Spiritual Journey.  I have been continuing with the open circle and developing my mediumship skills.

And mediumship is not just limited to open circle... No, I often get visits from those that have passed for those who are open to messages when I give my Angel & Tarot card readings.  It has been a real pleasure and honour to help clients get the evidence they need to know that there loved ones are still around them and not only that but have been watching over them, I often get evidence of what people have recently been doing and this is their way of showing you that they have been around.  It is truly beautiful.

My spiritual meditations have also been informative and every time I am getting a clearer and clearer message as to my destined path.  I have been given gifts by my guides and leaders and shown symbols amongst other messages.  Now my path is taking me to a stage of developing much further and I have to say I am excited as to where that will lead.

Sometimes it can be hard to tell when you are getting Divine messages, they could be so easily missed, I know I must have missed one after a particularly stern word from my Indian Chief after he said I have a lot to do and need to develop... on the what I should develop and how is the message I had obviously missed!  However, I received some great advice from Kevin who said "ask them to show you three times".  This fab piece of advice means that a) you do not need to worry about something being "your imagination" and b) missing the information.  And it is something I have adopted.

What are your ways of confirming messages?  Do you ask for something similar, I would love to know so do leave a comment.

For those of you who are daily readers of this blog you will also know that this week is gratitude week and I am truly grateful for the path that has been laid out before me.  I am massively grateful that I booked that reading and that it has helped me be in touch with my Spirits, Guides and Guardian Angels.  This last few months have been life changing.  The sort of life changing where you know you will never look at the world in quite the same way again.  I already knew and saw it as beautiful and wondrous and now I have that on a whole new level, levels of levels!

Love Life and Laughter

Traci x

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