For the last few years I have been getting lost and further lost... Have you had that? Your relationships fall apart, your work life falls apart, everything you do just seems to... well fall apart? This had been happening to me. Not overnight and not enough at first for me to really notice.
Not only was I lost but things in life were just no longer making sense, I was directionless, broken, empty and mistrusting of people and probably the world in general. Now when I say this it is a generalisation because of course there were still days when the sun shone from within, where I would smile be happy and be grateful for amazing people and opportunities. But eventually they would all feel empty and this is such an important part to tell, they would FEEL empty. Now that I have hindsight and a small army of spiritual teachers and guides by my side I can see that I was just moving further and further away from my purpose. From what I was really meant to be doing.
Anyway, in January of 2015 everything was really coming to the point of collision, I was feeling low, I was feeling as though I no longer knew who I was, what I believed in, where I was going and if I could and was doing anything right as a Mum, a Fiancee, a Person, a Business Person, a Team Leader, etc... Over the next few months I would reach breaking point where my mental and physical health would feel the brunt of it all and I began to close and shut down.
My first change was to get help, I called my health visitor and she was amazing, put me in touch with some great resources to help me get back on the track. This, I now know was not a coincidence!
A few other people entered my life to help me reach balance but the part where I started to realise I was actually getting help from the other side was when my eldest daughter and I took advantage of a free Cream Tea in Brixham that we won in a raffle many months ago.
I start to notice...
Kiesha and I arrive in Brixham with Alina (my youngest) in tow. It is rare for Kiesha and I to spend together as my toddlers demand attention at practically every waking moment so I was really looking forward to it. We park the car and I enter the postcode into the maps app on my phone (I know so technically savvy!). We walk in what actually is the completely the wrong direction (again this is no coincidence) but as we do I see a sign outside a shop called Featherz & Wingz about readings. I ask Kiesha if she would like to find out about having a reading. Enthusiastically she says yes as she is intrigued. They did not have any appointments available but we booked one for each of us the following week. We came back out of the shop and all of a sudden I know where we need to go in order to get to Millie & Me (freaky right?). |
| Kiesha and Alina at Millie & Me Brixham |
The Reading...
Kiesha and I returned to Featherz & Wings the following week and I had my reading while Kiesha looked after Alina. I am ashamed to say I really cannot remember the ladies name. I was nervous, it had been a long time since I had had a reading like this and to be fair I was much more skeptical now than I had ever been.
She was lovely though, conversational and put me at ease. I chose some Tarot cards... this was my first hmmmm moment.
When I was much younger I used to do my own personal tarot readings and a few for friends but I was never really sure if I was doing it right! I picked up these cards and instantly felt a connection...
I know at this point I could lose many of you but it is true and very hard to describe. Anyway, to cut the story short I was told a few pinnacle things:- Firstly I was actually very spiritual and the spirits had been waiting to work with me. Secondly, I needed to join a Circle and also a healing circle and she mentioned that I could attend both in Brixham... obviously there was much more and evidence given etc... but these points just resonated. I know, well rather I knew I was spiritual, when I was younger I knew things, could see things that others couldn't but like so many others one very scary experience meant the "seeing" stopped and as I grew older, I questioned more, believed less, and well, I lost all connection.... or so I thought!
We've been waiting...
The reading was on the Tuesday and late on Saturday I decided that I would attend a mediumship demonstration at our local Spiritualist Church.. In my head I said "right, if any of this is true and my reading was correct then let someone come through from the other side for me tonight". How demanding?! I have to confess that about half an hour later I was feeling really guilty about making such a demand and in my head I am saying "Traci, you know the spirit world does not just work like that, you can't just demand things and expect your need to be greater than others", However, I did not retract what I had asked for.
I arrive, settle down and listen to the many messages given. Then the medium points to the two ladies behind me and says ladies I think I am with you and relays the details of how the person he is communicating with passed... Well, it was not too long before I began to feel a tingle, you know that tingle that happens when you know actually the person is connected with you? And sure enough the ladies did not recognise the information, I raised my hand and said I think you are with me. Well, there was no way I could doubt... the spirit world did not just bring through one person, Oh no! It was like a conveyer belt! It was one after another, after another, after another. It was beginning to get embarrassing but when in my head I said Ok, I get it, I believe you... it stopped!
After leaving the Spiritualist Church I felt a whole new form of peace, of fullness, almost like I was complete... This was so profound especially from the contrasting emotions of the last few months, even years.... For the first time in a very long time I was beginning to feel like me again... Like I had a purpose...
Read about the continuation of this awakening in the next post...
Are you on a spiritual Journey of Awakening? Have you an experience you would like to share? Then please do get in touch, I would love to hear from you. Comment here or pop on over to my facebook page.
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