I am not talking of the "Oh my, aren't I wonderful", or the "I can do anything and everything" (whilst feeling that secretly you can't). No, I am not coming from the I need to prove something I am coming from the loving acceptance that you love who you are right now, perceived faults and all.
I have been needing to lose weight for awhile and every time I have got to the that's it moment, I seem to have gained weight and not lost it.
Has this happened to you? Then maybe like me you have just not been loving yourself first? There is an amazing resource on this by Louise Hay in "You Can Heal Your Life". I realised when reading this book that I always put myself last, put myself down, and I had avoided mirrors for a number of years. Not that long ago when I was already really feeling as though I needed to make a change I started to run a make up company in the hope that it would bring me out of the rut of how I felt about myself and I would feel more beautiful... Now, I can understand how backwards this was and also why it did not work.
After all trying to feel good on the outside was not making me feel good on the inside. I needed to feel good on the inside and then I would feel good on the outside. This would then provide the encouragement and motivation to lovingly do something about the weight loss. You see when you truly love who you are a shift in energy and perception happens, you no longer feel as though you cannot go out in public, or that you should not wear... or that you would rather avoid group situations through embarrassment of self, instead you embrace them.
You embrace the outdoors for all the fresh air and clarity of mind it brings with the added bonus of healthy exercise. You no longer feel as though "you are not fit enough to attend ..... class" or that "you are not worthy enough to.... fill in the blank" You accept that you are amazing, that your health is benefiting from this change in consciousness and that your body is already benefiting from this change.
Louise is super hot on Mirror work and I can completely understand why. By really looking yourself in the mirror and loving yourself, you are profoundly accepting you, how beautiful you are, how amazing you are, how amazing your skin is, your hair is etc...
If you have been locked in a perpetual cycle of self-criticism, self-doubt and self-loathing then this will take practice and patience. There are two ways that are really effective for this. Firstly look at yourself as a child, after all would you tell your child-self that you are ugly, fat, worthless etc.... for the majority of us this would be a resounding NO and rightly so, I am not sure where the tables flip and we think it is Okay for us to do this to ourselves as adults but I digress. Look at your child-self in the mirror and say affirmations like "I love you, I love my smile, I love how my hair shines, I love the sparkle in my eyes and anytime your focus switches to the negative breathe and let that go and focus on the positives.
The second method is just purely focus on the good things about you and increase those everyday. I love my skin, I love that I am ageing gracefully, I love how my body is healthy and happy. I love how I am taking care of myself etc... etc... there are many affirmations in Louise's book which are wonderful and very helpful.
I noticed that when I first started this that I had so much self-destruction that before, had been going on un-noticed, it had clearly been happening so much that it was a habit. Not only that but I would constantly be thinking of how fat I was, especially if I caught my reflection.... So, if I am constantly being self-destructive AND concentrating on being fat, ummmm hello, it is no wonder the pounds continued to pile on!